I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
