So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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