She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
