People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
