What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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