i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
