he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
