So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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