well you can't waste a boner
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
