K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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