so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
