I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
