3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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