She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
