trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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