I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
