There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I die, sorry about rent.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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