just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your penis caused this!
Randomize