sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
