i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
