i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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