I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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