yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
