Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am available for nakedness
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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