Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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