yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
