"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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