If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
