Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
