normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
