I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
