Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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