when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize