You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Shame is for Republicans.
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