Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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