So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
