you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
