Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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