I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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