iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
