There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
