Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
