yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
