my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
