these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
