What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
