he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
