im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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