Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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