i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
