Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
