Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize