Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
