Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Farmville is her only friend.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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