Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
