Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
