yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
