there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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