I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
