Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
