Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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